So why does the king decide to let his servant off his debt? (Mt 18:21-35)
Because he offers to pay him back, in full? Not at all.
The amount of money mentioned in the original words of this parable doesn’t mean anything to us, which is why our translation simply says “a huge amount”. But the point is it’s so much (say, billions) that there is no possibility that it can be paid back. So why the servant says ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full’ he is talking nonsense. And the king of course knows this. So the compassion of the king is not some kind of reward for the promise of repayment – “ok, thanks for the offer, but don’t worry, I’ll let it go”. It comes despite the servant’s self-serving nonsense. The compassion is completely unearned.
So if anything this makes Jesus’s admonition that we have to do likewise even more challenging. This is another one of those “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” moments (Mt 5:48). Good grief!! How the heck am I supposed to do that?
So how to avoid a despairing lurch into depression? – why did I ever sign up for this, it’s obviously impossible!
Part of the answer likes in the fact that we are not judged by our results. In a way the story is circular – the servant has his debt forgiven despite his lack of honesty about his inability to pay. Just so for us. The test of our forgiveness is not that we succeed, but that we try. This really is the competition in which everyone gets a prize. The prize is for participating, not winning. And if you have ever had any interest in or feeling for any sort of competitive activity your inevitable reaction will be – well that’s not right! Any “competition” where everyone wins is not a real competition, there’s no value in it, why would I bother to compete?
Well those are God’s rules. Jesus was pretty clear about that. It brings us back to the recognition that “His ways are not our ways.”
But all that leaves us a bit up in the air. We have this impossible objective – we know that, God knows that. So what does it mean to try – in these circumstances? Just pretending isn’t likely to get us very far. What should we do? What can we do?
Here the wise proverbs collected together by Sirach may help (Sir 27:30—28:7). He notes: “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight”.
I think we can recognize what he is describing. We find all sorts of ways to hold on to our anger and all sorts of reasons why we should, and why we’re justified in doing so, and why the responsibility to make the first move lies with the other person. All of which may be completely true. But also completely beside the point. We can’t play the game by our rules; there is only one game master, and we have to play by his rules. If we don’t then that is when we’ll lose the prize. We have to accept that no one deserves a prize, and yet we all get one. Even the person least deserving of our forgiveness is loved by God – she or he will get a prize also.
Once we can accept that then our anger, maybe righteous anger, is irrelevant. Then maybe we can take a step towards letting go of it. Then our heart will open. And once the anger is let out, then God can get in.