Today we hear the dramatic story of Isaiah’s encounter with the divine – it’s terrifying (Isaiah 6:1-2a, 3-8). But it ends with him accepting what God is asking of him – “Here I am, send me”. Paul doesn’t play up the dramatic in his telling to the Corinthians of his calling (1 Corinthians 15:1-11) – Luke’s account in the Acts of the Apostles gives it more drama, even if the falling off the horse part is only in our later imaginations. When Jesus calls his disciples Luke gives us a very direct parallel to Isaiah (Luke 5:1-11): Simon Peter says “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man”, just as Isaiah says “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips”. God prepared Isaiah with his touch of fire, Jesus prepares Peter and the others with his touch of healing (“Do not be afraid”).
Our connection with God probably never included such drama. So do we just look at these incidents from afar and wonder at them? Wow! – but our lives are nothing like that…
I think that would be a mistake. Scripture doesn’t give us stories about things distant from us, it’s God talking to us, each one of us. If we don’t find a point of connection then we need to look again, or come from a different direction. So let’s start with the disciples, who maybe seem a little closer to us than an Old Testament prophet.
First let’s note that what we hear today is just the start of their journey with Jesus. It wasn’t like it was all plain sailing from then on. The disciples got involved in stupid arguments about who was the best of them, they ran away once things got tough. Simon Peter got a strip torn off him when he wouldn’t listen and Jesus called him Satan. And of course they frequently got confused about what Jesus was doing. So maybe they were a bit more like us than their eventual sanctity would have us believe.
Simon Peter had the sense to recognize that he really wasn’t up for what Jesus was asking – I am a sinful man – which was true. But Jesus called him anyway. And he remained a sinful man. But Jesus left His church in his care. The key point about the disciples is they agreed to follow, just as Mary did. They didn’t have the slightest notion of what they were signing up to.
But we don’t have the courage to do that do we?
Not true! Anyone who has agreed to get married, or to have a child, has no idea what they are agreeing to. Even taking a new job or moving to a new place are things we do without knowledge of the outcome. So yes, we can make the decision to follow Jesus, just like the disciples. And only at the end of our journey with him on earth will we know how it worked out.
The good news (the gospel) is that we do know he will be with us all along, that he never abandons us, that he is fully aware of our limitations and inadequacies. He will even help us speak when we need to, when we are called to prophesy, even if it’s just to say to a neighbor “sorry but I don’t agree with that, Jesus told us to love and welcome”. We need to get over our feeling of inadequacy and say, despite of it, “Here I am, send me”. It may help if we remember what Jesus said to those first disciples, and to us: Do not be afraid.